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Baby in the Middle
Research by Colief discovered that 1 in 5 couples have admitted their sex life was “non-existent” in the first year of a baby’s life, while five per cent of couples have actually split up due to their baby’s constant crying. The arrival of a new baby can sometimes bring about changes to your relationship as you and your partner adjust to life with your new arrival How does a new baby affect the parent’s relationships
Having a baby has a massive impact on pretty much every aspect of a couple’s relationship, from the practical things like money, running a home and maintaining a social life through to emotional issues like maintaining intimacy and adapting to the responsibilities and roles of parenting. Will it have the biggest effect on the mother or father?
This really depends on the individual and how prepared they are for the task of parenting. On a very practical level the biggest effect is on mum who not only has to recover from the physical trauma of childbirth but who also has to manage the emotional rollercoaster triggered by post-pregnancy hormones.
What can parents do to help their relationship survive the arrival of a new baby?
First and foremost, be prepared to be exhausted. I don’t think many people really understand what tiredness is until they’ve had a baby. A few sleepless nights through illness or because of a heavy workload is nothing compared to the relentless weeks or months of sleep deprivation a baby can cause. So, be patient with each other. Co-operate and collaborate – try to see each issue and phase of babyhood you face as a creative challenge for you to overcome together. Make time for each other whenever you can and make connecting together through conversation or a cuddle a priority. Having a baby can be the most bonding experience a couple can ever experience, but be prepared for the trials as well as the euphoria. Finally remember that babyhood doesn’t last forever so make the most of it while it’s here.
How can parents cope with problems like colic?
Recognise that colic is a very common problem but one that can be doubly exhausting. The lack of sleep is bad enough, but if you’re having to console a crying baby for hours on end as well it can feel torturous and leave your nerves ragged. Support each other, be extra patient and tolerant if you’re crabby with each other, and again, remember that this is just a phase that will pass.
